Twice?

So I survived that day and now I am preparing to survive this week.

I will let you know how it goes.

Driving my advisor to the library was really nice.  On the way there she said she wanted to be productive so for the 40 minute ride we talked about where I want to go with my research.  She always makes me feel a lot more competent than I would ever feel on my own.

So Basically my research interests have changed….well they have not changed so much as I feel like some stories have to be told before I tell others.

When I started this program I wanted to study some intersection of black masculinity, history, and education.  I have waffled back and forth on what all that means for me.  I have written papers on progressive black masculinities, black power masculinities, historical constructions of black masculinity et cetera ad nauseam. My advisor had approved me doing a project on how black males have constructed masculinity in different spaces and times…..and I could have done it fairly easily….but it didn’t feel right.  It didn’t feel like the kind of research that will mean just as much to other people as it did to me.  I didn’t want to abandon what I was doing but I needed my research to mean something more.

I have always had a deep interest in the process of desegregation that has blossomed since I have been in this program.  The conversations had in class and being surrounded by so many great minds focused on education has filled me even more with a sense of urgency and the need to think clearly about problems and trends.

Naturally, part of the way I process all of these things is to think of my own experiences in education and in communities.  As I have been reading about how desegregation plans unfolded in different areas I was curious about what I could find about my own little place in the world.  On my first google search I found this document: http://www.law.umaryland.edu/marshall/usccr/documents/cr12d4516.pdf

No need to read it all but to summarize it is a US Commission on Civil Rights report on desegregation in Kirkwood, Missouri.  I don’t want to go though all of the details that intrigue me but basically it is a very cheery and praising report.  What really stuck in my head is the discrepancy of how this report depicted the place where I grew up and how I experienced it.  Not everything was different but there is so much that seemed odd that I want to find the whole story.  I’m not doing a very good job of explaining what all I want to study (because I’m lazy) but basically I think there is a story there that I didn’t know growing up and I think would mean a lot to my community if I could uncover it.

This summer I will be spending a little more than a month in STL/Kirkwood doing some preliminary research.  It all matters how many of my ducks I can get in a row by that time.  I have lots of stuff going on and I am happily freaking out about it.  Depending on how much I can find this subject could be both my empirical and dissertation study. Ultimate upside? I can get Emory to pay for me to go home! Yay

Thank you to everyone who called/texted me after my last blog post making sure I was ok!

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